Before we get going with part 3 of our infertility story, I want to say thank you again. As difficult as it has been to write our story, you guys have been so incredibly encouraging. I truly can’t thank you enough. Keep the prayers coming, we definitely need them. Also, sorry this post was a week in the making. Our internet has been out and we finally got it resolved and switched providers so I don’t have to try to write these posts on my phone. 😉
Anywho, the way this whole infertility series came about was out of a desire to write this post. I wanted to tell you guys why recipes haven’t been shared as much on LPH recently as they had been in the past. To tell you why recipes I would be sharing from now on would be a different kind of recipe. So here we go. At this point in our journey with infertility, I finally started to get some answers and diagnoses. In part 1 and part 2 of our infertility story, I shared with you guys about our first and second miscarriages. Part 3, in short, will be about a diagnosis that lead me to become gluten-free and change my way of life.
Okay. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I hit that publish button, but I should have known how wonderful all of you amazing people would be. I cried as each and every one of your comments came in. I truly can’t thank you enough. But today, I need to ask for even more grace from you guys. Unfortunately, there are a few more “parts” to our infertility story. And things get worse before they get better.
I ended part 1 of our story of struggling with infertility by sharing about the loss of our “little bug” to an early miscarriage. Remembering and reliving that experience has been incredibly hard. Harder than I expected. Losing Little Bug was unbelievably painful. I didn’t know how life could continue on. But just like after losing my dad, somehow each and every day I woke up and life kept happening. I spent hours each and every day pleading, begging, mourning, crying before my big, all powerful, very real God. And eventually, and slowly, that mourning turned into back into living life. I can truly look back and say that the only way I made it through that horrible time was with the grace of God and the strength of my amazing husband.
You would think I was too traumatized to keep trying to conceive. But my desire for a child was only intensified. Six weeks after losing Little Bug we started actively trying to conceive again. But this time without the basal body temperatures, ovulation kits, and centering our lives around trying to conceive. God had shown me that those were my ways of trying to control the situation. Being the control freak that I am, I had to let go of this and give it to God. His timing is perfect. I will trust in His great plans for us. Even today.
I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time but I was always afraid to do just that. I didn’t know what feelings I would be unearthing (btw, its lots of tears) or how all of you would react. But a big part of my change of heart was wanting to share more of myself and wanting to be less afraid of what I share. So here I go. Be gentle with my heart, friends.
My desire to write this post started out with me wanting to share with all of you my journey to become gluten free. But as I began thinking about my decision to become gluten free, I realized that my story wasn’t simply about food. It was more about my journey of infertility. And as terrifying as it is to write this post, I know I am not alone. Though often, I feel very, very alone. Infertility is not something that people talk about. I guarantee that at least one couple you know is struggling with infertility. But you might not know it. The culture of shame and pain behind infertility is what keeps most of us quiet. But we have no reason to be ashamed. One of the things that has helped me the most is wonderful, dear friends who have opened up to me to let me know that they have or are going through the beast of infertility right beside me. In case you don’t have those friends, I’ll be that friend for you. That is what made me truly decide to write this post. For all of us who feel alone. And more importantly, that is why I will hit that terrifying “publish” button.
I’m a mexican food fiend. I love all mexican food. Salsa. Burritos. Enchiladas. Guacamole. You name it, I love it. But I stink at cooking it. Don’t get me wrong, the mexican food I have made in the past was delicious. But that is only because of those amazing seasoning packets. You know, the paper ones that cost $1 at the grocery store? Don’t get me wrong, I love those packets. But as someone who enjoys cooking, I’m a little ashamed that I have never made true, authentic mexican food.
But that has now changed! And seriously guys, these beans are DA BOMB (oh hi, 1990s!). They are simple to make and are the best refried beans I’ve had outside of a restaurant. And that is saying something. I’ve been on the look out for good refried beans at home for a long time. And these fit the bill. Delicious and easy! Yum! You absolutely must try these Slow Cooker Refried Beans!
Once upon a time, life got really really ridiculously
good looking busy. Princess Talitha wished life could slow down so she could, you know, eat… and stuff. But, alas, life refused Talitha’s request and forged ahead, twice as fast as before. Queue me entering, stage left, doing 2 room makeovers/facelifts in 4 weeks. PLUS prepping the house for guests. PLUS doing crazy amounts of yard work to keep the snakes at bay.
By the time my mom got here this past Saturday, I was exhausted. She told me about this great recipe for a little pick-me-up that was packed full of great proteins. Twenty minutes later I had these delicious no bake energy bites!